When dating, do you think you have a type? If so, have you thought about how that might be holding you back?
It’s natural to have an idea of the type of partner who would be a fit for you. And closely attached to that is the type of partner you think you can attract. But if you have a hard and fast checklist of qualities that your future partner has to have, (especially if most of them are related to physical attributes) you are likely standing in your own way of finding someone you can spend some quality time with.
Dating, and choosing a potential romantic partner, has to be more about how the person makes you feel than a laundry list of must haves. Attraction that goes deeper and will last longer has to be more than that.
You’ve probably heard a version of this one before: “Insanity is repeating the same mistake over and over and expecting different results.” Nothing can be truer when it comes to dating. So if you’ve been clutching that checklist close to your chest for a while, and have remained single, then maybe the time has come to officially retire it.
Instead, open yourself up to people you wouldn't normally date. What do you have to lose? And do a little research on your own. Talk to some happy couples that have been together for a while and most will probably say the person they are with wasn’t necessarily their “type” at the time.
Even if you think you are open and don’t date with a checklist, could you attract or be seeking out a certain type without being conscious of it? Reflect on your past relationships and the types of people you have dated. Does a pattern emerge? Do you gravitate to the same qualities in romantic partners? Have they been healthy and happy relationships? If not, maybe it's time to learn from it, move forward, and be open to new possibilities.
And this means avoiding the tendency to paint people with the same brush. For example, an ex-partner had children and things turned complicated and ultimately didn’t work out because of conflict or drama with their ex. Don’t necessarily discount the next amazing person with children. Their set of circumstances could be completely different!
Now this isn’t about settling or being less picky. When it comes to something as important as choosing a partner, you should never settle and you should always be picky! But be picky about those qualities in a person that will carry you into a committed, healthy relationship and less about the superficial ones.
If you are interested in learning more about how a Toronto Matchmaker can help you with your search, contact Mutual Match today. We can help you see dating from a whole new perspective. Call us at 416.888.6365! You can also join our Free Singles Network - you may just be a match for one of our clients.